‘How do I show myself self love, authentically?’
3 principles I follow to feel comfortable in my own skin
As part of the New Year fanfare, I found myself reflecting on the question, how do I show myself self love? It was a quiet Friday night, a glass of red in hand that I was scrolling my Instagram feed; in awe of the beautiful bodies and gorgeous women who chose to show up authentically in 2024.
It’s a feed of curves and lines, bumps and busts–a common theme of raw expression, honesty and vulnerability. And as the question, how do I show myself self love, swirled through my thoughts, mixing with the wine and my own insecurities, I realised my face (and body for that matter) is nonexistent.
I’ve been a hypocrite. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin
As a boudoir photographer, I’m always the cheerleader from behind the lens.
“Wear that bikini girl!”
“Don’t worry about your weight–your weight is just a number, it doesn’t matter”
“Stop concerning yourself with what anyone says about you or your body!”.
It’s like an ongoing affirmation that never quite lands in my own heart. And in a lot of ways, it makes a hypocrite. So how do I overcome this? How do I show myself self love, authentically?
01. Rekindling connection to show myself self love
I’ve taken dating myself more seriously. I appreciate me. I nurture the connection I have with myself. I open the door to lust over the person that I am. Feeling comfortable in my own skin starts with seeing myself as worthy of time, kindness and connection. Whether it’s treating myself to a new lacey thong (and taking a moment to admire my booty in the mirror!) or making time for coffee with a close friend, showing myself love begins with prioritising my own needs.
02. Doing more of what lights up my divine feminine
I’m dating myself. I appreciate me. I nurture the connection I have with divine feminine. Because when we study our bodies rather than criticising them, we begin to see the beauty in our individuality and can answer the question, ‘how do I show myself self love?’. Curating my social media (this includes unfollowing anyone who ignites the comparison-game), speaking kindly to individual body parts (“my hips are beautiful and full”) and stepping outside my comfort zone (have you booked that boudoir shoot you’ve been talking about for months?...) have created a sense of agency over my appearance. And I started to feel comfortable in my own skin.
03. Leaning into my emotions and insecurities
My insecurities run deep. They didn’t pop up yesterday: they’re the result of decades of negative self-talk and patterns that don’t help me feel comfortable in my own skin. So I do what scares me a little. A bubbling hot flash of embarrassment before that first boudoir photo is taken? Feel it. Own it. A twisting, sick feeling before a big business presentation at work? Swallow it. Lean in closer. That frozen, prickling self-consciousness before you bare all on a beach in your bikini? Take off that sarong and get in the water. Simply accepting our emotions and insecurities (rather than running away from them) can be the answer to, ‘how do I show myself self love?’.
How do you show yourself self love? Comment below and share your wisdom with all of the other women who happen upon this blog.